On Jealousy

Jealousy is such a strange feeling.

I used to love a blog so much, but I can barely stand to go to it anymore. Actually this is the second blog this happened to. Good things happen to them, or crazy things that don't seem good at the time, and I feel such jealousy it actually makes my stomach turn...

Don't have time to finish this post, baby is moaning which means its almost nap time. Which means its Xavi time.

What I will make time for is writing a two year and a five year goal list. Something I have told Michael I want to do together a number of times.

Anyway...

I hope to get a chance to get this blog going, I'd like to share some things with friends, family, the world. OK I guess I mostly thought about sharing with the world, and maybe keeping the blog to myself. The reason being that I get very sensitive about anything I write, draw, do. Loved ones I trust to be honest so if I keep this away then I don't have to learn that its no good. Or maybe something I write will offend someone? Mostly I worry about what my husband would say. I don't know if he reads too many blogs and he has other creative outlets and maybe doesn't get my need to seek attention from strangers who might happen upon this blog.

OK time to go.

Getting started...

Well, baby A is crying in the other room so I only have 30 seconds to post. Today was a great day, we...ha I was interrupted right then to see 4 year old X making letters out of his green beans...dinners are in shifts these days.

25 weeks 2 days

I'm getting a big baby belly! I'm so excited! Things are happening for baby jordan too, he is going to be opening and closing his eyes soon, recognizing our voices, and practicing breathing. I cannot beleive how much love we have for him already. I can't wait to kiss his little cheeks and make him giggle and coo. I am going to be a mommy! WOW! Michael is going to be a daddy, I can't wait to see him in action!!! I just have to say now that I love him soooo much, it almost makes me cry in happiness!

Today the checker at the grocery store said, "so when is the baby due" and when I told her May 28 she said, "big baby". It was pretty funny. This past weekend in Vegas was the first time that a stranger asked me if I was pregnant. I wonder how much the fact that I'm always caressing and touching my belly now plays into people guessing if I'm preggo. Oh well, I like the attention. I always admired pregnant women and now I am one! It is pretty funny how all summer I was so drawn to any pregnant woman I'd see, and I wanted to be one, it was the belly not the baby that I wanted...weird. Now I am ready to be done with pregnancy (its not that bad right now), because I just want to meet our little boy so bad!